What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
