I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize