If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
