omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
