I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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