Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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