why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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