Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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