I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
