if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize