im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
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I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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