He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
