My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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