we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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