I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
