her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
