so let's talk penis.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
