Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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