the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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