She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
