Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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