I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
