filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
