just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself