I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
