Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i would one night stand the shit outta him
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.