I love black thongs
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
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she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
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We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..