So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.