yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.