That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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