I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
