I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
