Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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