Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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