i don't like sucking hair
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
