You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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