We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm bleeding and have questions
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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