I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
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