Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
