so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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