I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
