Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
