how can u be prego again
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
