...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
