I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
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There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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