just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
