I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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