At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
