Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
