I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
