I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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