I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
These tits shall not be calmed
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
