Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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