Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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