I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
