belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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