No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
