Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
