dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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