I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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