So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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