dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
wow bdsm is so cute
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