How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
