i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
