just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
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Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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