took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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