i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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