Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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