he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
