OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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