He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
